Tag Archives: story

A little neglectful, a little successful. 

I haven’t been here much.

It seems like every update is a mass update.
Things are going blissully well, and I’m extremely grateful. 


My anxiety, though it be the plauge in my life, has been much more manageable. (Here’s a few things to thank for that )

  • I have started to begin each day with a good thought. Something I am grateful for, or a positive affirmation (there are lots of apps that offer daily affirmations).
  • Speaking of apps I have been utilizing my phone as a wellness tool. 30 day gratitude challenges,  meditation apps, I have an app that talks you through breaths during an anxiety or panic attack. There’s resources out there that offer great wellness solutions and actually trying and sticking to them has changed my life.
  • I stopped allowing negative thoughts and feelings to enter my space. Worry is like a rocking chair has been a lovely motto for me. If I can’t fix change or do anything about a problem, I stop worrying about it. If I can do something to fix change or better the situation, then I do that.
  •  I have gotten better at stopping and checking in with myself. Taking a break and reflecting on how things are going several times throughout the say has been majorly successful.
  • I got a job that I actually love. Work is my happy place and I absolutely mean that. No matter what industry you are in find something you love. A fantastic boss and helpful strong coworkers are a blessing.

I don’t get to spend as much time with my husband or my kids, but we have more money incoming which means we have the funds to do more fun family outings.
More income also means a little spoilage for myself.

I’ll post a better picture when it heals and has lightened up. But, by that time I plan to have the diadem, sorting hat, and a few other little odes to my obsession as well.
Until next time loves.

Name Changes and Life Updates

The past two years have passed in a blink.

 

I left an extremely abusive relationship and established myself.

Without even looking, I found prince charming.

He is everything, and more.

*Cue wedding bells*


I wasn’t kidding when I said he was everything, he even wrote my daughter her own vow at the wedding (swoon).

We (and by we I mean “I” because nothing peeves me more than a man who says “we’re pregnant’…oh are WE?) got pregnant.

 

However, 5 months in to the pregnancy I started having some serious complications.

I ended up being admitted to the hospital for three weeks of pampering. And, on June 27th (12 weeks early) we met our beautiful son.

Our tough fighter spent 62 long days in the NICU, but now here we are.

Like I said, the past few years have gone by in a blink and time is not slowing down, but I am so excited to be back here to share as always health and wellness tips, money saving tips (because as a young mother of two frugality is key), product reviews (check back here later for “The Pits and The Peaches”), and all things good, bad, and Goldstone.

 

Till next time!

Victorious not a victim

Lately I’ve had this overwhelming feeling that good things are coming my way. Great things. Big things. Better things. Like I have a purpose and a story to share, so I guess I’ll start by sharing it first with you, or at least part of it.

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I feel like my biggest accomplishment was falling down a spiral and pulling myself back to solid ground. I could spare you the dirty details, but I am down right proud of myself, so I wont.

Around 2007/2008 I lost several people who were dear to me. All within a year. By the time I lost my grandmother, I had let myself slip so deep into the grips of addiction that I in turn lost myself. With every passing of every loved one; I let a piece of myself slip away too.

I was quickly losing grip on my former happy go lucky self. I surrounded myself with toxic people, with the same ambitions as mine (which was none, by the way) and fell in love with the most beautiful soul. To keep private details private we’ll call him Max. Max brought a piece of life back to me that I thought I had lost.

We could tell each other anything and in spite of one another’s flaws always wound up falling deeper in love. We quickly moved in together and the addiction grew. To Max, and to the drugs. The OC’s eventually took a full grasp on both of us. More than the drugs were destroying us, we were destroying each other.

My mother was no longer my mother, not even a stranger I saw in passing. 

My family, after several attempts of trying to snap me back to reality ultimately disowned me.

I was alone in an abusive relationship taking 6-8 80mg oc’s a day before I finally woke up.
I don’t know what came over me.
I don’t know what snapped me back to reality.
One morning I woke up and thought I couldn’t keep living like that. Maybe I had finally sobered up a little bit. Maybe I finally looked in the mirror and saw all the scars Max had left on me, the reflection of a broken girl. Whatever it was something in me changed that day.
I called my mom and explained everything that had gone on between Max and I. Start to finish. Not like she didn’t already know the half of it. The marks were always there when we rarely did see each other. Anyway, fast forward a few days to my missed period (was there a better way to say that? Sorry haha). I knew it. Right away I knew it.

I was two days sober, it easily could have been the shock to my system causing me to be late, but a blood test at my doctors confirmed it.
I had broken free from the chains that were holding me back with Max and now a few days later I have to present him with this? I cursed him in my head and sobbed for a while at the doctors. Max was anything but thrilled, his words so cold and vile still ring in my ears. I would be alone in this too.

To make a long story a little shorter, the pregnancy wasn’t viable, I had lost my baby.

This came as no shock to any of us in my family, what I put my body through it was a wonder that even I survived, there was no way my body could support another living soul.
That’s not where the story ends, but perhaps I’ll save the rest for another day.
Currently, I am nearing my SIXTH YEAR of sobriety.
I am actively trying to better myself and help those around me see the light within themselves.

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I’m an advocate for broken young women and recovering addicts. I will make my voice heard and I will make a difference. I will help people over come difficulty in all aspects and I will do so humbly with grace and conviction. I have enough dreams to fill every inch of the galaxy and enough determination to make them come true.