I had a regular conversation with someone at my daughter’s school this morning. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing too crazy, just a normal everyday conversation.
Tell me why I can talk to anybody about anything but then after the fact I’ll sit there and relive the conversation in my head and anxiously curse myself for stupid things that I might have said.
It was just a regular conversation typical good mornings and how do you do. But what if I said it funny? What if I said something wrong? Did I stutter on my words? Does she think I’m absolutely ridiculous? And why did I have to say that?!?!
I’ll probably relive this conversation until the next time that I talk to someone. At which point I’ll relive that conversation a million times and wonder the same things.
When I was younger I didn’t seem to mind what people thought about me. I was actually the Daredevil in my family. I had no shame and no fear, so what happened?
Where did that Fearless little girl go and why is she this anxious bubble she is now?
As I go through my days now I try to remind myself that nobody’s opinion really matters.
That I probably didn’t say anything stupid.
That they probably aren’t even thinking about our conversation.
And if they are thinking about our conversation it’s likely that she too is thinking did I sound stupid, did I say something wrong, is she judging me right now?
Or maybe she’s even thinking to herself what a delightful conversation that was and how she hopes to have another one tomorrow. I can’t be sure but all I do know is this
It seems like every update is a mass update. Thingsare going blissully well, and I’m extremely grateful.
My anxiety, though it be the plauge in my life, has been much more manageable. (Here’s a few things to thank for that )
I have started to begin each day with a good thought. Something I am grateful for, or a positive affirmation (there are lots of apps that offer daily affirmations).
Speaking of apps I have been utilizing my phone as a wellness tool. 30 day gratitude challenges, meditation apps, I have an app that talks you through breaths during an anxiety or panic attack. There’s resources out there that offer great wellness solutions and actually trying and sticking to them has changed my life.
I stopped allowing negative thoughts and feelings to enter my space. Worry is like a rocking chair has been a lovely motto for me. If I can’t fix change or do anything about a problem, I stop worrying about it. If I can do something to fix change or better the situation, then I do that.
I have gotten better at stopping and checking in with myself. Taking a break and reflecting on how things are going several times throughout the say has been majorly successful.
I got a job that I actually love. Work is my happy place and I absolutely mean that. No matter what industry you are in find something you love. A fantastic boss and helpful strong coworkers are a blessing.
I don’t get to spend as much time with my husband or my kids, but we have more money incoming which means we have the funds to do more fun family outings.
More income also means a little spoilage for myself.
I’ll post a better picture when it heals and has lightened up. But, by that time I plan to have the diadem, sorting hat, and a few other little odes to my obsession as well.
Until next time loves.
I don’t know about you, but I over-indulged this Holiday season. Between eating all of my two year old’s Halloween candy, to polishing off an entire loaf of my mom’s Pumpkin Bread at Christmas, (She adds triple the amount of love, it is DIVINE) I’m not afraid to say I was unhealthy. I was, however, happy. After all that is what the Holiday is about right?
I am looking forward to kicking off 2015 with an herbal cleanse to rid my body of all the horrible (but delicious) things I just put in it.
Lately I’ve had this overwhelming feeling that good things are coming my way. Great things. Big things. Better things. Like I have a purpose and a story to share, so I guess I’ll start by sharing it first with you, or at least part of it.
I feel like my biggest accomplishment was falling down a spiral and pulling myself back to solid ground. I could spare you the dirty details, but I am down right proud of myself, so I wont.
Around 2007/2008 I lost several people who were dear to me. All within a year. By the time I lost my grandmother, I had let myself slip so deep into the grips of addiction that I in turn lost myself. With every passing of every loved one; I let a piece of myself slip away too.
I was quickly losing grip on my former happy go lucky self…
You heard seasonal flavors would go fast but had no idea they would go THAT fast, your procrastination got the best of you and now you have to wait a whole nother year! WRONG! Have no fear, have no fear, Sarah is here!
1 vanilla mrs + a pinch of pumpkin pie spice.
Thank me later 😉