Talk is cheap, and terrifying

I had a regular conversation with someone at my daughter’s school this morning. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing too crazy, just a normal everyday conversation. 
Tell me why I can talk to anybody about anything but then after the fact I’ll sit there and relive the conversation in my head and anxiously curse myself for stupid things that I might have said. 
It was just a regular conversation typical good mornings and how do you do. But what if I said it funny? What if I said something wrong? Did I stutter on my words? Does she think I’m absolutely ridiculous? And why did I have to say that?!?! 

I’ll probably relive this conversation until the next time that I talk to someone. At which point I’ll relive that conversation a million times and wonder the same things. 
When I was younger I didn’t seem to mind what people thought about me. I was actually the Daredevil in my family. I had no shame and no fear, so what happened?

 Where did that Fearless little girl go and why is she this anxious bubble she is now?

 As I go through my days now I try to remind myself that nobody’s opinion really matters. 

That I probably didn’t say anything stupid.

That they probably aren’t even thinking about our conversation. 

And if they are thinking about our conversation it’s likely that she too is thinking did I sound stupid, did I say something wrong, is she judging me right now? 

Or maybe she’s even thinking to herself what a delightful conversation that was and how she hopes to have another one tomorrow. I can’t be sure but all I do know is this

Worry is like a rocking chair.

Rock. Rock. Rock. Rock.

It’s a great way to go no where fast.

Happy sunday friends. 

No I’m just kidding its Monday. …..


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